aikafrancesca ♥

I MISS YOU

Date : Monday, February 8, 2010

Watched a movie with two of my greatest friends. A movie that we all agreed that I wrote. it was the story of my life. I just wish I'd have that same happy ending.

I'm not so sure of the happy ending though. I used to e so optimistic, and I used to be so hopeful. But, things have changed. Actually, HE has changed. He isn't the guy I knew. Not the one I fell in love with.

The one I love used to talk to me everyday, invite me over every chance he gets, acts like a silly school boy one moment, then a teen with raging hormones the next. The guy I loved would laugh at my silliness, listen intently to what I have to say, teach me things I never really thought about. He would stick his tongue at me when he's left with nothing to say, would hold my hand under the table, would smile at me as I awkwardly try to make conversation with his friends. He would laugh at my silly jokes, tickle me breathless and make me fall for him every single day.

That is the guy I came to like.

And that's the guy I miss every second of the say. the guy that won't leave my mind, no matter how hard I push him away.

I guess I don't miss him. I miss the guy he used to be.

Baby,top. || 11:33 PM

OUCH REALITY

Date : Friday, February 5, 2010

Julian: This isn't going to be easy, is it? You and I being friends.

Brooke: No, but it's better than not being in each others lives at all.

Baby,top. || 10:16 AM

SCENARIO OF THE NIGHT

Date : Thursday, February 4, 2010

Matt: Look, this thing we've got is nice and it feels really good and I know you want to take the next step.

Caroline: How do you know that? Have you asked me?

Matt: I'm not over Elena. I mean, I don't know if I am. But, if we go there then it can mess things up and we might lose this. And this is the only good thing I've got going for me right now. So if it doesn't work, I'll just disappoint and hurt you, and I don't wanna do that.

Caroline: Well, big problem Matt. Because you took the next step all by yourself and you played the whole thing out in your head and you decided to bail even before giving it a shot. So this really great thing that we have? Don't worry about losing it. Because it's already gone.

*Caroline walks out, Matt follows, they kiss.*

This scenario is too familiar! I wish I have Caroline's strength to talk away; and I wish he wouldn't be stubborn not to chase after me when I walk away.

Baby,top. || 1:03 AM

TOO MUCH OF SO LITTLE

Date : Wednesday, February 3, 2010

So much is going on in my life right now. Well, honestly, not that much, just too much for me to handle right now. Too important things that I cannot take lightly that I found myself in the middle of a crowd crying. This has happened to me before; points where in I needed someone to talk to so bad and yet I couldn’t even think of one. As usual, I found myself walking around campus trying to think of someplace to be, something to do to get my mind off it. And then I saw someone I knew, someone I wasn’t really that close to and she asked how I was.

I told her, honestly, I am not okay. And the tears slowly showed. I was embarrassed. I didn’t dive into the details. I just let her know that I feel pressured about all the things I need to get done in so little time. She hugged me and assured me that everything will be okay.

Everything will eventually fall into place. EVERYTHING.
I just wish they would all settle down sooner. I don’t have much time.

Baby,top. || 1:05 PM

I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH.

Date : Sunday, January 31, 2010

I have three wishes.

THREE.

That is the magic number. Three's a charm.

One of my wishes came true today.

I now know that God IS indeed working on my case.

I AM SO HAPPY.

I have never felt this much happiness for the success of another person.

Call me conceited, but that is the painful truth.

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

For getting there. You deserve it.

And even if you don't, i still would have wanted you to have it.

I'm getting teary eyed just writing this.

Baby,top. || 11:48 PM